Transference

29 Jul

It was bound to happen.

I have been working very hard lately, trying to rebuild our raiding core after a recent schism that left us a few bodies short and from dealing with attendance issues, which are leaving us with a very unpredictable group of people to work with on any given night.  I have been writing recruitment posts on the forums, I have been bumping posts.  I have been conducting Vent interviews and the WoW equivalent of background checks. 

It started off as just something I was doing for research purposes.  I wanted to see how other guilds handled their recruitment posts and then I could base mine off of something similar.  The first thing I noticed, from spending so much time around recruitment threads, is that there is a study of extremes going on.  The guilds that are actively looking for new raiders are either 11/12 hard modes in ICC or they’re not.  There really isn’t any middle ground there.  I see that good DPS is a hot commodity – specifically hunters, mages and rogues.  There weren’t many guilds that were looking for healers and if they were, it was mostly discipline priests and resto shamans that seemed to be in demand.  Nobody seemed to be in need of a resto druid. 

Lately, I have been having doubts that my guild can recover from the recent changes that have taken place.  We have always had our ups and downs and I’ve always had a feeling that we could get through things and that there was still potential there.  I would look at the pieces of the puzzle and still see the picture on the box that could be formed, if we put the pieces together the right way.  I don’t see that anymore.  Our realm has a lot to do with it.  The talent pool is extremely small and our server isn’t enough of a draw to attract much off-realm talent – especially on the Horde side.  We’re losing more bodies than we can bring in and currently we’re 4th on the realm, for our faction.  We were optimistic that with some re-forming, we could kill the Lich King and try for 1st or 2nd place.  Those chances are gone and 3rd place is still a possibility or it looks like we will remain stuck in 4th, until Cataclysm. 

I don’t see that happening.  I don’t feel we have the leadership or the strong officer core to see us through this.  That’s something I absolutely need in a guild.  I need a solid foundation – especially in times like this.  We’re down to a GM, a co-GM and a healing lead.  Both GMs are extremely busy with real life affairs and I don’t feel their hearts are entirely in this.  I feel like I’m the only one really trying to make things work.  I have expressed these concerns to the GM and he seems to think there is still some good here.  I can’t say I feel the same.  I told him I had begun apping to other guilds, to see if there was even any demand for me and that it wasn’t a done deal yet.  I was simply exploring other opportunities. 

I tend to app really well and I placed two applications last night and had a Vent interview with one guild, mere hours after I applied.  They were very nice to me and I had a good feeling from talking to them.  Initially, they didn’t seem too thrilled with me and I thought it was a sign I shouldn’t get too full of myself and just stay where I’m at.  But my application soon attracted a lot of views and I was talking with the GM a short time later.  It’s not a guaranteed spot.  It would be where I come and do a few runs with them, they see what I can do and if they like me, I’m in.  They feel that I know what I’m talking about, as a resto druid, that I have potential and that I’m someone they could invest some gear into (because I haven’t seen any 25 man hard modes) and possibly give them a good return on their investment.  They actually had their hearts set on a resto shaman – but felt I could maybe fill that void, instead.

I told them that I wanted a few days to think about it and I am – I really am.  I know if I leave my current guild, I have to leave and not come back.  I came crawling back too many times and I think part of them thinks that I’m really not going anywhere and that I’ll always be back.  They have been good to me – I can’t say that I have been mistreated or that it’s anything personal.  I know it always ends up being personal and I can’t make people feel otherwise.  I know that I have sort of integrated myself into the guild so much that it would be hard to leave people, if only on a personal level.  It just felt good to be around like minded people again, who want to progress and have a focus and an understanding of rules and consequences and people earning their keep and things like that.  I miss those core values and that foundation that I simply don’t have right now. 

In the past, I know I have been quick to leave a guild and there have been times I didn’t make things any easier on myself.  I own that.  I really am trying, though, with this one.  I’m trying my ass off.  I don’t feel like I would be leaving and that I didn’t give it my best shot.  I feel I have learned a lot from my experiences in my WoW career and that I could really do things right this time.  If I did end up going over there and it didn’t work out – maybe I could just take a break until Cataclysm and then come back.  I would certainly have enough to do in my career and my real life to keep me busy and I have a healthy supply of alts I could enjoy until then. 

Hm.  What to do – what to do.

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2 Responses to “Transference”

  1. Beruthiel July 29, 2010 at 10:50 am #

    Making a change is always hard, especially if you feel invested in your current guild. I guess I’d sort of look at it two ways:

    1) Does your slow progression sit heavy on you? If so, is it because of the progression itself, or because of the future, potential progression?

    2) Do you enjoy the people that you are currently raiding with, or do you find more times than not you aren’t having fun in raids?

    I, personally, love to progress and sometimes our somewhat slower progression bothers me…but I truly love the majority of the people that I play with and so because of that, I accept our more relaxed push at progression. And truth be told, it’s good for me. To say “I really don’t care about the progression ‘mini game'” and largely mean it, does a lot.

    If you are truly unhappy, regardless of the connections that you have in the guild, if there is more unhappiness than there is fun, it’s probably time to move on. If you are still having fun, then I’d say forget about what you’ve killed or how fast you’ve killed it, and just continue to have fun.

    Just my 2 pennies! 🙂

    • Oestrus July 29, 2010 at 11:20 am #

      Hey there, Beruthiel! I’ve checked out your blog before and I’m stoked to see you on mine. I will definitely add you to my Blogroll, after this.

      In terms of your questions, I’d have to answer them like so:

      1) It sits heavy on me, because we know we could do better. There was a time we could do great things and I saw the ingredients for it, within our guild. Without the strong leadership to make those things fall in line, without anyone taking a stand to make things better, I see things just being sort of complacent. It pains me to see potential not being used fully. I think it would be one thing if I were surrounded by people that were adorably clueless and well meaning, I could politely say “We’re just not meant for bigger things.” But I see the people around me and I think “We’re meant for more. We could be doing more. Why aren’t we?” That’s what pains me.

      2) I enjoy them immensely. As people, I couldn’t ask for better guildies. Sort of like how I felt earlier, I find that I don’t have fun when I see that we’re not being led properly. We have people who are hungry for bigger things and really want it. Instead, the loot goes to someone who isn’t there as much or we take people back who have been no-shows for days. I feel if we just got rid of a lot of our dead weight, even if it meant being without a raid night for a bit, it would be worth. Too many toxic influences, I think.

      You do bring up a really good point about the fun factor and not getting caught up in the progression race. It’s hard not to, especially when I came from that. I did nothing but hard core raiding, up until earlier this year. So it’s hard not to look back on how “it used to be” and long for those days.

      Again, very glad you posted. 🙂

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