“I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me.”
– Lady Gaga, “Paparazzi.”
Because I am such a flirtatious personality, I do tend to attract people who like to banter with me by using innuendos and other forms of potentially sexual dialogue. Once in a while, I will attract the attention of someone who seems to think I’m interesting and would like to do something about it. They may read my blog, listen to my podcast, or other shows I have been on and think that I sound like fun. They may have heard me on Vent, during a raid or read my Tweets. Usually, it doesn’t go any further than lighthearted conversation and boastful remarks of what we would like to do with one another.
I enjoy having this type of discourse with people and I was really worried how all of that would change, once I came out. I didn’t know if it would weird people out or if I would have to tone it down a notch, at the risk of being seen as pursuing people who weren’t interested in what I had to offer and all of that. To my surprise, I not only found that people were still fine with carrying on with me like this, but some people appeared genuinely interested in getting to know me better or possibly even doing something a bit more physical with me.
While I didn’t set out to start a blog or a podcast with the intention of finding new people to date or have sex with, I can’t help but wonder if it would be wrong to enjoy the benefits of my work. Is this just a case of social networking doing exactly what it was supposed to do? Or, is this a classic case of “shitting where you eat?”
On the one hand, I think it could be great and I see nothing wrong with it, especially if you are someone who may not have the best luck in the dating scene or you happen to cater to a small niche, like I do. In that case, I think getting to know your readers or Followers a bit more is a great way to open you up to new prospects that you may not otherwise have. Like I said earlier, I think it matters more if you’re actively trying to do that. If the whole reason you play a game or start a blog is to attract potential suitors, then I don’t agree with that. It should be something you’re not trying for and it should be a sort of natural, healthy attraction.
On the other hand, it feels kind of strange. The idea that someone feels that they know you or that they could be attracted to you, solely based on how you sound or what you write strikes me as kind of odd. When you are a blogger or an otherwise public personality, you put out there what you want people to see. It’s not that you’re being dishonest or misleading, but you decide what to put into those 140 characters. You decide what you want to share with people in that 90 minutes of your podcast. So, these people are becoming attracted to what you chose to show them. You’re putting your best face forward, just like on a real date. But, would they still be attracted to you, if you weren’t doing just that? Or, to compare it to putting your best face forward in real life, would they still be attracted to you if you didn’t shave your legs everyday or if they saw what your bedroom really looked like? Would they still like you when the microphone is turned off or the blog posts stop coming?
You’re also dealing with a community where word travels fast. Let’s say you do give someone a chance to get to know you better and it doesn’t go well. That person may not deal with it in the best way and you could suddenly find your dirty laundry all over the Internet. They may create posts about you on the realm forums. They may publish screenshots of your Skype conversations. They may leave comments on your blog that force you to moderate them, from now on. That’s something else you have to consider, too. I’m not saying that everyone who attempts to court someone else online is crazy, but it is something to think about. You have to think about how others will be affected by your actions. You may be doing everything you can to be discreet, but the other person or people involved aren’t required to do the same.
So, what do you think? Is it a mistake to get involved with those who follow you? Have you been involved in this situation before? Let me know what you think.