I’m not proud of the time that I have spent in Cataclysm.
I’m not proud of the fact that I went through three different guilds, to get to the one that I’m currently in and that I don’t know how long I will remain with this one, either. I’m not proud of the fact that there’s a huge three month gap in my activity, due to burnout, which led me to try other games and to pursue other avenues. I’m not proud of the fact that I don’t have a single Al’akir or Conclave of Air kill on my record, despite the fact that I’ve spent countless nights wiping on said bosses, but missed out on the kill as a result of poorly timed nights requested off.
I can do better than that. I know that I can.
Last night, I attended my 10 year high school reunion, and I came back home with a lot on my mind. It was midnight and I needed something to do, something to take my mind off what I was going through, so I clicked on a link that someone posted on my guild’s forums and found a documentary called “Race To World First.” It was an hour long film, which documented the competition that exists between guilds like Blood Legion, Premonition, Method, Ensidia, etc. and what goes on behind the computer screen, as well. As I lay in bed, with a carton of milk and a package of cupcakes by my side, I thought to myself “I could do that.” Then I asked myself, “Why aren’t I doing that?”
I don’t presume to think that I’m “good” enough to ever get into a guild like one of those featured in the movie, but I definitely think I could shoot for something higher than I have been. I admit that I wanted something casual, to close out Cataclysm, simply because I missed too much and I wouldn’t have any legs to stand on if I tried to shoot for something better. But, I think when Mists of Pandaria comes around that I want to go for something bigger. I would like to be in a high ranking guild, somewhere between the top 250 to 500 range. That’s the goal that I have decided to set for myself. Bear in mind, that I am technically in a guild that meets that criteria, but I’m not part of the group that actually got there. Right now, I’m just a casual ranked member, and I’m OK with that. Come Mists of Pandaria, though, all bets are off.
I realize that I have a lot of work to do and a lot of time before I can make this dream a reality. Here are a few of the immediate things that come to mind, in terms of things I could stand to work on:
1) A profession change. Most of the cool kids don’t keep a gathering profession and a crafting profession. I would probably have to swap out my Herbalism for something else. As long as I have an alt that can farm the herbs needed to level Alchemy, I should be OK. But what profession would I take in its place? Inscription? Enchanting? I don’t have it in me to level Jewelcrafting, so that’s out. But I would need something else, to squeeze that extra drop of performance out of myself and my character.
2) A change in perspective. If I’m going to shoot for something loftier than what I’m doing right now, I have to be more flexible. I can’t just be a holy priest or a discipline priest. I have to be a healing priest. I can still have my preferences and have that spec which I enjoy playing more, but I have to be willing to do what’s best for the fight and for the raid, as needed. I would like to think I’m already making progress with this, but I still have a lot to learn with getting as comfortable with discipline as I am with holy.
3) A change in attitude. Ah, the big one. I admit that I can be a handful and that I tend to jump to conclusions. I admit that I don’t always know when to keep my mouth shut. I work hard, I play hard, but my attitude and people’s perception of me always seems to get in the way of that. That can’t happen if I’m going to try and hang with a different crowd of people than I’m used to. It has to be about the work, about the performance. I can’t let my opinions or my snark get in the way of that. I can still be myself, but I have to rein it in a little bit.
I know I have a long road ahead of me, before I get to the point where I feel I’m ready to do this, and that’s even if a guild is gracious enough to see the potential in me to take me on board. A number of stars are going to have to align for this all to work out, but I really want it and I’m determined to make it happen. I want better for myself and I know that I can do it. My mind is made up and now I have to start plotting out my course.
Who’s with me?